14weeks preggers!!

It's a good day- today I'm 14w pregnant!!

Yesterday we had our appt with the midwife~the one who I didn't like the 1st time. Well times have changed and now she's nice! Ha! We went in and my blood pressure was great and I've now gained 11 pounds total. Wow! Midwife comes in the room says hello, then tells us she normally talks 1st and hb 2nd but after looking at my notes she was going to do the hb 1st! Yahoo! She found it soo easily, it was between 150-160!! Which is great!! We moved onto my peeing problem- she said she has never heard of this problem but not to be worried. She asked me why I didn't come in the day before to ease my mind, I told her I wanted too, that I begged and cried etc but the nurse said no. She said that was unexceptable and she was going to talk with her. It's better to have me come in for 5 mins than me crying and worried. She does think that I'm more anxious(sp) and maybe I should talk with someone. I'm going to decline the offer for the moment- yes I'm nervous,emotional etc but this is my 1st pregnancy and it hasn't Been an easy road. If I'm feeling like I want to talk with someone I will no problem. We are going to go every 2 weeks just to reassure me. That means we can hear the hb more often! Everything is on track!
Btw- I finally had sex! Haha 3months! Not fun but... Hehe!!

Christmas was good, a long day. We go to both families and eat 2 full dinners! My hubby got me a CHI flat iron, which I soo wanted!! North face boots and a few other things. We also got a flip video camera from my sister in law and she knitted a little hat and booties for our baby!! Awe!! My mother in law gave me a few maternity sweaters- which I need to exchange and a new doggy/baby gate! We have had a baby gate for our dog for years at our front door ( if not he runs out the door)!! This one is fancy- has a foot pedal on both sides! It's the little things that excite me!

My mother in law asked about my baby shower. We were planning on throwing it/paying for it etc. She said maybe we could do it at her house!! Yay for saving $$!! It's still a maybe but it's a start.

Tomm is new years eve- no clue what are plans are. I want to do something but I'll be surprised if I last past 10!!

Calmed down a little

After alot of crying this morning I finally got a call back from the nurse- it was like pulling teeth to get a call back. She talked with a doctor an she thinks my uterus is larger than normal people at this stage. They said not to come in today because I have an appt tomm with the midwife 1pm. I hope she is right, and everything is fine. They said even if it's a bladder issue it can't affect the baby. I just need to hear the heart beat and I'll be okay. I have been able to pee so that's exciting. I have finally stopped crying which is nice! I'll post after my appt tomm.
Thanks for everyones concern today, it means alot.

Update

So it's been forever. Yesterday I woke up and needed to pee, well I went to the bathroom and couldn't pee. It took about 10 mins for anything it was soo weird. It didn't hurt but I felt pressure. We called the doctors office an they told us to come in. There wasn't an ob there so I'm not sure why we came. We saw an internist an internal medicine doc who said " he hadn't seen a pregnant patient in forever". Great. They wanted a sample and I was able to pee- go figure. I don't have an uti, the 80yr old doc didn't know why this happened. He tried to find the heart beat and couldn't- said it was because he's not an ob. Told me if it happens again to call my ob. I was a wreck.
We left and I could pee all day. So I was feeling better last night and coming off the ledge. Woke up this morning and same thing- fuck. I called the ob @ 8am and got a call back at 8:10. The nurse said this is common for a 8 month pregnant person not me. Thanks. She was going to check with a doc (mine is on vacation) and call me back. It's now 9:15, I'm giving them till 9:30. I'll call them back and if they don't care I'll go to the er to get answers. I'll try to update later. Happy Monday

12 ultrasound

I have been so lazy lately about blogging, but its a few days before Christmas so I'm cutting myself some slack. My u/s was Tues at 2:20-full bladder and all. Well at 2:50 we go into the room and I'm about to BURST,the doc came in and tried to get the measurements-well his words were- " WOW I cant believe how upside down your uterus is, this is going to be impossible... I suggested an internal, he said ok but it might not work. I got to pee, that was great BTW. Do an internal and he is trying to dig to China, I mean I was jumping. ANyways there it was the baby, and OMG its not a blob anymore its a baby. We saw toes like you could count toes :) The doc was totally pissed that he needed to spend more time with us because of my messed up uterus, oo well. The baby wasnt really cooperating but he got the measurements that he needed for the test- downs syndrome and other things. The result was 1.3, and you want it to be lower than 3.3 so that made my day. He said I was measuring 11w 4 days instead of 6 days, as of now my due date hasnt changed. When we told him it was an IVF baby his attitude changed 100%. He gave us pics and sent us to get my blood work. I have an appt 12/29 with the midwife so we will go over everything there.

Our 18w (find out the sex u/s) is Tues 1/26 @ 3:30, and OMG I cant wait.

Todays the day...

So its been forever since I've blogged. I've been sick, 1st I thought it was strep,nope. Then a few days later I came down with an awful cold, and just so you know, when your preggers you can only take tylenol. And tylenol isnt for colds BTW. I got over the cold and yesterday I pulled a muscle in my back at work. My boss is a PT so I showed her where it was and asked what to do... well its in a spot that theres nothing you can do. It hurts when I inhale. Anyways...
Today is almost like prom day. I'm nervous and excited and I'll even shave my legs. Today is my big 12w u/s, we get to see the babe and are looking for markers of downs syndrome and other genetic disorders etc. I just want to see the heart beating, please god let it be beating.

I'll update later
Grow,grow,grow <3

Prunes...

My baby is the size of a prune,thats fitting...

With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)

How far along: 10weeks 4 days
Weight gain/loss:lost 1 pound
Symptoms:nauseous 24/7(not getting sick) and everything smells gross
Maternity clothes:Yes please
Strech marks:Nope
Sleep:8 hours on and off (I wake up to pee)
Best moment last week: seeing the babe on u/s
Food cravings:nothing, I dont want food
What I miss:Nothing
Gender:Not sure but we have a girls name: Linsday Helen
What I'm looking forward too:Tues 12/15 my 12 week u/s
Milestones: I'M PREGNANT
Stick baby stick <3 grow,grow,grow

1st ob appt

Today was my 1st ob appt. New doc was nice and she told us that she has 2 IVF babies (so she gets brownie points). They were late taking us in but we got to talk with Liza :) This is how the appt went: pee in cup, weight (no change,yahoo) and blood pressure. Doc comes in answers all my crazy questions, so crazy DH was looking at me asking where I find this stuff. We decided to do a 12 week screening test on the babe for downs symdrome and other things. She breaks out the jelly and puts it on my belly-uses a hand doppler to hear the h.b (heart beat). I hear alot of swooshing no beating like my previous appts. Doc says she can hear it, DH says he can hear it. Guess who cant?? OOO ya. So naturally I start crying because I think they are all lying to me and its not cool not to hear your babys hb.
She leaves the room and comes back with a mini rolling u/s machine. I think its from 1920. She locates the baby (no sound on this machine)and everyone except me can see the beating heart. She tells me everything is looking good and not to be worried. I'm trying to trust her...
So we go in the waiting room to make our appts- Cassandra the one who hates me has no clue what appt I'm talking about and doesnt know how to make it. AHH. She calls Lynn and she held her hand. Thank god for Lynn. We made the appt for Tues 12/15, I'll be 11w 6 days.
Over all I guess it was a good appt, I think she would have said something if she thought other wise.

I olive you!!

Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!

How far along: 9 weeks 6 days
Weight gain/loss:no clue
Symptoms:nauseous 24/7(not getting sick yet,and one other thing that I wont mention...
Maternity clothes:Yes please
Strech marks:Nope
Sleep:8 hours on and off (I wake up nauseous in the night)
Best moment last week: Having something to really be thankful for on turkey day!!
Food cravings:nothing, I dont want food
Gender:my gram did the needle and thread trick-old wives tale and it said BOY!!
What I'm looking forward too:FRiday 10/4, meeting our new ob/praying shes not stupid and hearing the babe on the doppler!!
Milestones: I'M PREGNANT
Stick baby stick <3 grow,grow,grow

Turkey day was good, busy. We go to both families, its a pain but better than having them all here!! We told my uncle and his 2 boys (well my papa did). He wanted to make a toast before dinner and include it in there. I couldnt wait. When they came in and asked whats new I said "papa do you talk NOW". Hehe. They are all excited. During dinner I was told that they have been keeping me in the dark about my grandfathers health. They didnt want to stress me out or worry me. Apparently over the past few weeks hes been in and out of the hospital for 'heart failure'. Over the summer he switched doctors and the new one noticed a rapid heart beat and called 911. He was rushed to the hospital and put on new meds. He has had heart problems for years. Well apparently the new meds messed him up, no one was paying attn to his other meds and he ended up in the hosp again. I'm now told that everything is straightened out and he is fine. Fingers crossed.
My mother didnt attend thanksgiving,which is fine by me. She sent cupcakes for us(?) She hasnt seen me since the summer,(so never seen me preggo),she probably afraid I'll scream at her for not having her life together...oo well
Stick baby stick <3 grow,grow,grow

*Bump pic*

8 weeks 6 days and this baby wants everyone to know she is coming. Yes, today I think its a girl!!

Our little raspberry

Baby is growing like mad,putting on a millimeter everyday and continuing to straighten out in the trunk.Though you cant feel it yet,baby is moving those little arms,legs and (now only slightly)webbed fingers and toes like crazy!!

How far along: 8 weeks 4 days
Weight gain/loss:6 pounds up
Symptoms:Very tired, nauseous(not getting sick yet),and loosing soo much hair
Maternity clothes:Jeans and tops if we are doing something with other people,other than that pjs all the time
Strech marks:Nope
Sleep:8-9 hours
Best moment last week: This week- heard the hb, 171 :) saw the babe
Food cravings:nothing, I dont want food
Gender:well people say high heart beat = girl??
What I'm looking forward too: 10 week doc appt 12/4
Milestones: graduating from my RE to a reg obgyn. My growing baby!!
Stick baby stick <3 grow,grow,grow

Graduating

Yesterday I graduated from my RE to a regular obgyn :( super bitter sweet,thank god they are 3 feet away from each other!My appt was to meet with a midwife(ended up with someone I didnt want) 5pm appt- 20 mins late, her not me. Anyway she looks just like my mother in law,acts like her and talks like her.BOO HOO. Sat us down and said lets go over the news from your u/s from today. Ok fine. She says I see there are 3 sacks and 1 pregnancy.I'm sorry- what did you say? She says, you didnt know? Our mouths are open,she looks threw her notes and says there is a type o.Ahhhhhhhh. Then she goes over pregnancy, asks questions etc. She asked me a question and after I answered she looked out @ DH to see if I was lying. What??? I told her that I'm nervous (which I think I have every right to be),she says people who are nervous during their pregnancy tend to have postpartum depression (hmm debby downer). The only good thing is that she said since I'm nervous I can come in more often. My husband likes her because she has a dog... I'm going to give her another shot-but I dont really want to. She tells us to make a few appt as we were leaving. We tried but the receptionist was really busy and asked me to call tomm. Sounds easy right? haha, I called around 10 to miss the morning rush. Got the worst person on the phone, this woman has hated me since day 1. Shes sooo rude on the phone. ANyway, I explain what the midwife (Susan) said and she tells me she cant help me. She doesnt understand why I want extra appts. So I tell her, the midwife said it was ok, I'm an IVF patient and am scared. The bitch puts me on hold. I start to cry. Comes back and says I'm going to put you on with Lynn- I love Lynn. I tell Lynn whats going on and she makes the appts with no questions. Thank god. I'm not going to go in every week, I understand that but a little TLC goes a long way with me(I've been threw alot). As of now I'm going in:
12/4 10 weeks, meeting with new ob
12/15 11 weeks 6 days meeting with midwife
1/8 15 weeks and DH's bday meeting with nurse

OOO yeah, I ended up getting the H1N1 shot, my RE was pushing it like candy. I feel fine. While I was there she said she wanted to check my progesterone levels. Today Ellen (nice nurse) called and said they were 23.82. She said it was good but to continue crinone 2x per day,I'm wondering if its good then why continue at normal dose? I didnt ask. But I did ask (this is gonna sound bad) if they had any more crinone 'samples'. She said she'd check in a different office and get back to me next week. I've been spoiled by fav nurse (havent bought crinone yet)its $230 for a 9 day supply! I go back 12/3 for a follow up progesterone test. RE said its okay to stay on it for the 12 weeks if I feel okay and depending on next results
P.S- fav nurse called to check on me yesterday (shes on vacation).How sweet is she?!!

8 week u/s

Look whos growing like a little flower!! The babe is measuring 1 day ahead of schedule and the heart beat is 171!! Yahoo, I'm over the moon. The babys head is to the left of the screen and you can kinda see his arms on the side!! Everything looks GREAT!!
I'm pregnant!!

Grow,grow,grow

Tomm is finally my 8 week u/s. I'm nervous and excited rolled into one! I'm praying, gram went to church and talked to the statues (how great is my gram). Here is how tomm will go down: work- 7-2, u/s 2:30, meet with my RE(IVF doc) 3:00. 5pm meet with midwife and move over to 'regular' obgyn. Its going to be a long afternoon-I can get threw it as long as the baby is healthy. I'm feeling good- nauseous more than anything in the world but havent gotten sick yet...the other day I noticed some light pink stuff but a nurse (not mine) thinks the suppository is irratating my cervix-exciting...not. She said not to be worried. Fav nurse is on vaca (she needed one after me), that place is no good with out her :)
I hope and pray the little one is strong, and growing- hes my fighter.
Stick baby stick<3 I love you

weekend

This afternoon I was planning on going to the movies with 3 friends but no one could decided on a movie. INstead they came up with the idea of going bowling. I didnt freak, I just said I dont want to lift a heavy ball, so we ended up going 'mini' bowling (not sure if thats what its called). The balls were a little bigger than ski balls but 80% smaller than regular balls. It was fun, something different. But now I'm wondering if I over did it/? It wasnt really exercise but it was alot more than I have been doing since before IVF.Hmmmm I'm trying not to stress over it, I'm just going to relax for the rest of the day.
Last night we went to our friends (m/c friend) surprise bday. We decided not togo into the city with them and just go over to their house before hand. I didnt want to bring up what shes going threw or what I am. She ended up asking me questions and I answered her with 1 word but she wanted to know more. I believe she really is happy for us. However I do feel a bit weird when I take off my sweater because I'm already showing. Oo well
I cant wait till thursday
Stick baby stick <3 I love you

7 weeks!!

Babys brain--both hemispheres!!is growing fast,generating about 100 new cells every minute.Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form,and a permanent set of kidneys (babys third!!) is now in place.

How far along: 7 weeks 1 day
Weight gain/loss:Depends on who you ask; my doc office says 4.2, I say 2 pounds up.
Symptoms:Very tired, nauseous(not getting sick yet),and loosing soo much hair
Maternity clothes:Jeans and tops if we are doing something with other people,other than that pjs all the time
Strech marks:Nope
Sleep:I'm exhausted, go to bed @ 8pm and wake up around 3-4am very nauseous,sometimes I can go back to sleep but usualy not
Best moment last week:Seeing our line backer and the heart beat~104
Food cravings:Milk (I hate milk)I really dislike milk but have been wanting it, so I'm buying organic,low fat,pasterized.
Gender:I'm thinking future Patriots player, but a cheerleader would be great too
I miss:Deli meat and nail polish
What I'm looking forward too: 8 week u/s on thurs 11/19
Milestones: Heart beat and we got our 1st card for my aunt!
Stick baby stick <3 grow,grow,grow

6 weeks 5 days

The baby is a sweet pea during the 6th week! The baby is growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.
I'm feeling good- emotional,but I guess thats par for the course. My goal for this week is not to stress out. Acupuncture is today so I hope that helps (however my girl is out this week) and I really like 'my people' but I'm going to be nice and think happy thoughts. My baby (the line backer) is healthy and growing.
Stick baby stick <3

hmmm

Its been a pretty good weekend,except that I'm pooped! I went to old navy the other day because they were having a re-opening event and your could win a $500 gift card. I waited in line for 15mins and was # 162. I won a tee shirt~ but they made it okay for me to get a maternity tee shirt!I walked around and saw nothing else really,but on the clearance rack I found a sweater coat thing and a sweater (both purple) they were both 50% off and an additional 50% off that! yay me!!I waited in line for about 40mins and then left. I had NO energy to finish my shopping so I had to go home. Ended up cooking a nice healthy dinner and watching a movie with the hubby.

Fast forward to today~ Dh hasnt told any of his friends and was waiting until they got here for the game to tell them in person. He told his BFF and I decided to call his twin sister to tell her the news. She told us when she was about 5 weeks pregnant, so I thought we should do the same. I called and started chit chatting, and I was asking how she was feeling-she said okay. I asked how many weeks she was and she said 0 aka NONE. She had a m/c about 8 weeks ago. So at this point I didnt tell her anything about us and being pg. SHe knew about IVF and that we would be finding out soon, she asked 2 times and I told her. I felt (feel) awful. She said shes very happy for us and she knows that its been a long road for us. She said shes dealing with the m/c but okay. Well next week is her and her twins bday and her hubby has set up a party bus to go into Boston (we are sopost to go) its a surprise. I'm torn on to go or not? I'd feel bad for missing it but am I a reminder of what she lost (I'm already showing) and theres a another friend whos about 14weeks pregnant going. What should I do??
So now I'm trying very hard to think happy thoughts about my little one but its soo hard. I'm thinking my baby is good and growing but I'm not sure. I wish I had an ultrasound machine in my room. I'm thinking about calling the doc tomm and asking for an u/s this week (to ease my mind). Not sure if they will let me.I might loose my mind.
Other than that, I'm feeling good. I'm tired,and nauseous but havent gotten sick yet. No cramping (just little twiches here and there) and no spotting.

Stick baby stick <3 I love you!!

6 week ultrasound!!

Today was my 1st u/s as a pregnant person. Over the past year or so I've had soo many u/s I cant even count that high but this one made me sooo nervous. My Dh and fav nurse and the u/s lady that I like were all there. I was shaking and thought I might puke (i didnt). And there it was on the screen: 1 healthy baby with a heart beat! So far the craziest thing I have experienced. The heart rate is 104 which is right on track for being only 6 weeks (sometimes you dont see the hb at 6 weeks). I'm beyond over joyed, I feel so blessed. We met with out RE and she seemed really pleased. We go back in 2 weeks when I'm 8 weeks for another u/s. My due date has changed by 1 day- its now 6/30/10
The baby is the black blob and the thing in the blob is the heart!!
Stick baby stick <3

Grow little babies grow

Today the babies arms are starting to form, they look like little bumps!I cant wait for friday- please GOD, heart beats please!!
Stick babies stick <3
I found this on someones blog and think its very cute and am going to try to do it each week!

How far along:5 weeks 5 days
Weight gain/loss: None so far, but still bloated
Maternity clothes: yes please! Jeans (sometimes)
Strech marks:Nope
Sleep: yay~ finally, about 9.5 hours a night!
Best moment last week: Beta #4~ 2425!!
Food cravings:Pistachios
Gender: Pink or blue either will do, just looking for a heart beat
I miss: soda
What I'm looking forward to: ultrasound on 11/6
Milestones:Telling people the news!!

Telling people

This is how I found out~ A HPT!!


Telling 2 of my BFFS!! They had the server come over with a piece of yummy cake to celebrate!!
























Telling DH's sister and her family! I made our nephew a tee shirt that says " I'm a big cousin"























After this weekends scare I'm doing better, I dont think my baby is crushed. I'm just praying theres a little heart beat on friday.

Freaking out...

Ok, so I'm probably going to be freaking out my entire pregnancy but this is why I'm freaked out today... last night at a halloween party I was sitting on a chair watching people dance, play beer pong etc. All of a sudden one of our friends came over and decided to sit on my lap- my baby to me clear. He weighs around 340pounds (no lie) it only lasted for maybe 7-10 seconds but now I'm FREAKING OUT. My husband says I'm over reacting but today I havent had any nausea like I have been. I just want to jump in the car and head for the ER. Can anyone talk me off the ledge or should I go.... And Dr.Google has nothing for me.
Please leave me a comment :)
thanks

5 weeks

Today the baby is the size of an apple seed!
It is also the day the babies heart begins to beat and pump blood. Hurray! This is the babies 1st organ to function!
Beta #4 was super~ 2425 :)

BFP :)

Its been awhile since I updated so here goes...
Last friday 10/23/09 was my 1st beta (blood work to see if pg)when I got home I decided to POAS or 2 just to give me an idea for when fav nurse (Liza) called. It was *POSITIVE* so I called my DH to give him the great news-he put me to voice mail. What??? As I sat on the bathroom floor crying and shaking and looking at these fantastic tests he decided to call me back. I told him and he said thats good but wait for Liza to call with the news just in case. Okay Debby downer... An hour later she called and told me the news-again more sitting on the floor cying, shaking etc. She told me to come back on Monday for another one. We called our parents and grandparents and told them the news!! My side of rhe family was crying, Dh's was happy!? LOL! This week has been a crazy week I'm so nervous after my betas that I just look at my phone and pray the next call I get will be okay.
Beta results :
10/23/09- 134
10/26/09- 365
10/28/09- 770
and now I'm waiting for the results of my 4th beta.... I pray its good.
If everything is good my 1st u/s is next fri 11/6~ I'll be 6 weeks PREGNANT.
My due date is Thurs 7.01.2010
Stick babies stick <3

Hello in there...

So I'm talking to my belly like a crazy person but so far so good! This has been a crazy weekend. Super emotional but its a good thing!
I found out that I need 3 yes 3 betas ahhhh. I knew of 2 not 3. I guess its okay, but it makes me worry about the numbers. The numbers are from the HCG hormone and tells the docs whats going on. After the 1st beta they want your numbers to double and same for 3rd. I pray everything is okay in there.
Stick babies stick <3 I love you so much!

Please god

So here we are waiting. I havent POAS but want to like theres no tomm. I dont think I've ever been this scared in my life. I just want/need to know whats going on in there- my beta cant some soon enough. Today has been a bit of a crying day, like I said soo scared.
Please God- I'll be a good catholic and the babies will be too!

Someone stole my boobies

Buddy got his halloween costume today-fireman Buddy!!



Okay so someone has stolen my bbs. I have someone elses I'm convinced. These things are BIG and looking odd-I know they can be sore from the crinone but looking different I think is another story. Warning TMI~ There are pimple like things on m nips-so I googled and it came back that its an early sign of pregnancy (something for nursing)and they are veiny but I'm trying not to read into it. I really really want to test but am being good. Today the babies wanted a donut because they saw it on tv with halloween sprinkles...well 5 mins later I kinda threw up in my mouth (maybe indigestion) but still weird.
I have decided that I dislike crinone-I'm pretty sure its messing up my belly if you know what I mean. But if I have to stay on it forever to keep these babies I will.
I'm off to acupuncture its only $75 this time (follow up).

My 2 cute embabies!

Update- Still feeling woozy,but havent gotten sick.No weight gain/no spotting etc.
I havent tested and am going to try REALLY hard not too!

Hello Friday

So it's Friday and I have come to the conclusion that my babies are sticking around. People who do drugs/drink and are in their 40s get pregnant and carry healthy babies so I will too! This is going to work! I finally today someone else when my beta is- my gram! She is my #1 supporter!

Gotta have faith

So here we are 5 days post transfer and I have no clue whats going on in there. I keep talking to them but know at this point they have made up their minds if they are 'sticking' around or not- they should have 'they did' implant by now. My mind is all over the place, I'm positive most of the time but scared shitless the rest.
As far as symptoms- no weight gain,bb's are sore/tender and I'm nauseous esp in the car and a few times threw out the day. I'm trying not to pay attention beacuse I know these are also side effects for the crinone-suppository.
However I long to throw up like theres no tommorrow!LOL!
I have been reading online that 4cell and 6cell babies stick and turn out healthy so thats making me happy. I also read that I can probably take a test tomm to see if the trigger is out of my system and then to take another test next week to see if its real... soo confusing. I dont plan on testing until after the beta.

One question keeps running threw my mind- if they knew we were going to have a bunch of eggies and we had male issues in the past then why didnt they do ICSI to start with instead of emergency ICSI? It makes no sence to me-then again I'm not a doctor. Then we would have given our 15 other babies more of a fighting chance.Annoyed over that. But I hope we wont need to sit down and have this talk with our doc oneday- I hope these 2 babies stick so we wont go threw this again.

I havent told my hubby but I think we should give one of the babies the middle name Faith- its only fitting :)

Best email

Hi,
 How did you make out this afternoon ?  I went to church and prayed at every statue in the church . I think we have  a good supply of prayers at this time.
Love, Gram

Stick little babies STICK!

What a day...this morning I called the doctors office to get my fav nurses point of view on my babies-well she didnt seem very excited. I'm praying it was because it was early in the morning/after long weekend etc. Anywho she told me that none of the eggies made it to freezing, probably one of the saddest things I have ever heard.
(I hope they know how much I love them and will miss them) Told me to think positive and that I do still have 2 in my belly.
Got off the phone and cryed my eyes out for about 5 hours on and off.

Made an appt at the Domar center for acupuncure $95 for 90mins to help these babies stick. I told them we were going to acupuncture for them and it wouldnt hurt them...I'm nuts I know it.

Called my gram who is the best person and told her to go to church and pray...she told me she prays for me and the babies everyday-I told her pray extra please! She had a good point,after my retrieval 2 eggies were fertilized on their own and now 2 eggies are in my belly-she thinks they are smart and are fighters. I like the way she thinks!

I'm going for another round of acupuncture next Tues and hope it helps.
Stick babies stick-you can have candy when you come out,and a late bedtime :)*Muah*

Moving around

I finally slept last night! Well kinda- I decided to sleep on my side ( which I love)! I was reading that pregnant people should sleep on their left side so I figured why not! Ha! I only woke up 1 time unlike the past 4 nights! I called a friend and went to breakfast and got lots of proteins, eggs,cheese and bacon.I came home and went back to resting however I have been moving more than the past days. I feel good, I'll randomly get a pinch in my belly but it only lasts 1second. I haven't gained any weight so that's exciting! I'm feeling like I might throw up which excites me but it's prob cause I missed lunch! I've googled grade b and c embryos and it seems ok but of course I'll call my nurse tomm to see what she thinks. I hope she thinks they are okay.
I've been looking at the babies picture since yesterday and it's on the fridge! I've been talking to the babies and telling them to stick,stick,stick and that I love them very much! My hubby even said bye to them this morning before he went to work! I'm off tomm and back to work wed so it's a short week. I'm going to try very hard not to lift the 2yr old! All for now!

Found online, too funny

14 Things to Do when 14 Days Seem Like Forever, by Lynn Steen

Please note that this is a humourous article and is not intended as advice.
As any woman who is trying to get pregnant can tell you, the two weeks from ovulation to the due date for your next period are pure torture. You promise yourself you’ll just wait it out, distract yourself with other activities and you won’t even THINK about taking a pregnancy test until you’re at least a day overdue. Then something happens – your breasts start hurting in a slightly different way than they did before, you get slightly nauseous, you have some spotting, or nothing happens, but you find yourself waking up wishing you could go to sleep again so that it would be another day closer to knowing. You can’t think, you can’t sleep, you can’t work, and you start taking HPT’s days before they are even possibly meaningful. You are deep in the abyss of THE TWO-WEEK-WAIT!

In my opinion, it’s no use advising women to stop obsessing, it’s impossible. Instead, I give you a list of more productive ways to obsess. Please note, however, that there is a limit that each woman must define for herself, between indulging in some baby daydreaming and going overboard. I’ve included some examples below:

1. Take a walk around your neighborhood and figure out what will be the best route for strolls with the baby. Find areas with nice pavements and easy curbs. Go ahead and daydream. But do NOT buy a stroller for the dog.

2. Clean out your wardrobe to make room for the maternity stuff you’ll be buying soon. Try on anything you haven’t worn for six months. Yes, if you wish, you may put a pillow in your undies to see what will work as maternity wear. But taking a picture of yourself like that is going too far.

3. Start a journal. Write down everything you’re feeling. It will be a great opening chapter for your child’s baby book. If you can’t put your feelings into words, draw something; try to create a symbol that expresses the frustration you’re feeling. Don’t get that symbol tattooed on your ankle.

4. Plant a hope garden. Or a hope rosebush. Or a hope citrus tree. You want to grow something inside of you, well start by growing something outside of you. Nurture it. Feed it. Give it water. Talk to it. But do not send out birth announcements.

5. Get better at photography. Really learn how to work all the buttons and settings on your camera. Experiment! If you have a digital camera, get all the downloading and editing stuff worked out. You will be well prepared once you have a baby, and will be able to get some great shots and get them emailed to your family before the child’s graduation. Do not take photos of your cervical mucous, even if Toni Weschler begs you.

6. Make an appeal to the committee meeting going on inside you. Sperm, egg, uterus, corpus luteum, progesterone – they are in there either making a baby or not. Treat them like any other unruly committee you’ve ever addressed. Yes that’s right, go ahead and talk to them. Put your hands on your stomach and tell them how much you respect them. Make your best argument in favor of a baby, and then let them decide. It’s out of your hands. Addressing the committee within earshot of normal people is not recommended.

7. Paint your toenails. Imagine how difficult this will be when you are pregnant. Go shopping for the perfect pink and blue nail polish in preparation for a celebration polish. Alternating colors on the day you find out you’re pregnant, or a single color for the day you find out the baby’s sex. Don’t be tempted to paint a cycle day countdown on your big toes.

8. Make a cup of herbal tea. It is a nice ritual: boiling the water, adding the tea leaves, pouring into a nice china cup, adding some milk or sugar, sipping peacefully. Ahhhh. There’s nothing that a nice cup of tea won’t help. Yeah right. Well it does kill a little bit of time.

9. Swim laps. Think about the sperm and how they need to swim to your egg. Imagine that you are a sperm, the end of the pool is the egg, then GO, GO, GO! Don’t wear a tail or anything. Just imagine it quietly.

10. Make lists. List all the people you will tell when you get pregnant, and in what order. List all the little jobs you need to get done instead of obsessing about this 2WW! List all the healthy activities you intend to do this week. List all the girl and boy names you like. Lists are helpful for all sorts of things, most of all for passing time rather than actually doing something.

11. Create a fertility dance. Choose whatever music speaks to your soul and make up a dance routine as a prayer to the universe for the growth of an embryo. Move your hips, rotate your belly, let your arms flow – but close the curtains.

12. Prepare a folic acid feast. Cream of broccoli soup as an entree, followed by spinach lasagna, enriched whole grain garlic bread and frozen orange juice sorbet for dessert. Dedicate the meal to your baby-to-be. Just don’t set a highchair at the table in his or her honor.

13. Delegate the burden of the two-week wait. Clearly someone has to worry constantly during this time, but does it have to be you? Divide the days up among your best friends and closest family. On their assigned day they are required to think, wonder, and worry all day about whether you are pregnant or not. At the end of the day they have to call or send you email describing how agonizing it was. Also they have to report to you if they had any “symptoms,” such as sore breasts, excessive urination, nausea, bleeding, fatigue… you will be surprised how many people, male and female, have early pregnancy symptoms if they just look for them.

14. Write a list of 14 things to do during the Two-Week Wait and post it to the internet. For me, this killed nearly 3 hours. Now what? I’ve still got 9 days to go? Aaaarrgrhhhh.
 

Transfer day 10/11/09

So today was the big transfer! I was ok, but afraid I was going to pee on people! But there was no peeing on people! I got to the center and was told to start drinking,i brought my 24oz bottle of water/ finnished it and told the nurse I already had to pee...she told me to drink more. So I was a good patient and listened. When I went for the u/s to comfirm my full bladder they said it was over filled;thanks nurse! I had to empty a little then was ready to go. About 5 people checked my name/dob before we could start. The eggies we were transfering were a 6 cell,grade C fair and a 4 cell,grade B fair. I really wanted straight A's but I'm trying not to focus on the grades. They said these were 2 good ones. The transfer was easy- had valum 5mg, and it was like A pap smear, took about 5 mins. Then they set a timer for 10 mins before I could get up. The whole 10 mins I was telling the babies ( yes now I'm called them babies) to stick, stick, stick! We got a picture of our little babies-I'll upload it later. I have the date for my preg test and I don't think my fav nurse is working:( it's a Friday. I'm not saying the date because I dont want friends to know for awhile.

Side note- my knee is still killing me;( however I'll deal with a crappy knee if that means a BFP/great beta numbers!

Alot of eggies!!

I'm feeling good, still no weight gain or huge belly. I'm still resting, drinking plenty of fluids etc. A nurse called today to tell me what time to come in tomm for my transfer-arrive @9:20, procedure @10:20am. I now have 16 fertlized eggies! Yahoo, I hope they are good grades and will make a freeze. I'm super excited!

My knee is still killing, ice packs, heating pads aren't working... Boo. I'm going to mention it tomm and see if it's common after the retrieval?!

Almost there...

Last night I couldn't sleep, it wasn't because of pain it was because I was afraid to roll onto mysides/belly and upset my belly. I normally sleep on my side- I'll go back to normal after I'm out of the over stimulating range! Ha! So I went to the recliner but couldn't fall asleep...it was 3am. My knee is killing me, I talk my nurse and she thought the same thing I did- it was from the stir ups. Right now I have ice on it. Who would have thought my knee would be bothering more than my belly! I hope it goes away super soon, I want to cry :(

Anywho, my doc called today and threw me for a loop. I assumed she was calling to see if I was over stimulating but nope. She was calling to tell me that 17 out of the 32 eggs were mature and 2 fertilized naturaly. She was calling to advise us to do an icsi procedure on the 15 other eggies. Icsi is when the inject a single sperm into the egg threw a needle/unlike the normal way of putting the 2 in the same dish and letting the swimmers do their job! It's an additional $2500.00 for this procedure but it should work with a few so we can freeze some.

As far as symptoms- I feel good. A little bloated but I've been like this for a week or so, No spotting, a cramp here and there and I'm the same weight! The weight is a big sign of over stimming. So that's good. I have been drinking gatorade and water like crazy and peeing alot too. I don't think my pee has never been this clear ever! Haha sorry for tmi! So I'll prob sleep or try to sleep on the recliner again just so I don't roll! Lol!
Tomm afternoon we will get the call on how many eggies are fertilized and when we can come in on Sunday. Until then...

I'm praying I don't over stimulate and the more eggies get fertilized and my knee feels better!

I love my grandparents

So today while I was resting in bed my hubby asked if I was expecting a package- I said no but I'll take one! He brought in a small box and I opened a jewelry box, inside was a pendant of St.Gerard on a chain! He's the saint of fertilty/child, protecting mothers! On the order slip it said love gram & papa! How lucky am I? They are soo sweet!

On another note I'm feeling good, a little crampy but not awful. The only thing thar is killing me is my knee? I have no clue why, the only thing I can think of is during the procedure they had to put me in the stir-ups and maybe my knee went the wrong way? I keep weighing myself and so far so good- fingers crossed! I have had 1 gallon of gatoraid and now I'm onto water. I had steak and fries for dinner- so there's some protein. My hubby has been great,I have been texting him all day from the bedroom with things j need! What will I do tomm when he returns to work? Hmm

Almost preggers

Today was my retrieval! My instructions were to not eat or drink past midnight on Wednesday. Last night I had dreams about water all night! Hehe- I've never wanted water more in my life then when I was told I couldn't have any! I couldn't sleep at all last night. The plan was to arrive at the center @ 9:30am today (thurs), we got there at 8:20am because we were nervous about traffic! So we waited,and waited. My dh was sopost to give his sample at 9:30 but they were backed up! At 9:30ish I was brought into the back room- a place where you go before and after procedures. I got an iv and talked with nurses/doctors etc. My time was set for 10:30- which is 36 hours from my tues night trigger. At 10:25 they still hadn't taken my hubby in and I was freaking out- of course! But the nurses told me not to worry and he would het it down in time. Sooo at 10:30 I was walked into the bathroom to pee (tmi) then I said bye to my hubby and walked into the procedure room. I had to verify my name, dob etc. When I was done the guy putting me to sleep told me he already put the drug into my iv. Not even 2 seconds later I told them I felt weird and needed to lay down. Next thing I knew I was back in the recovery room(1st room) and my hubby was sitting next to me. I had cramping on a scale of 1-10 I was about a 4. They gave me an anti inflamatory in my iv which seemed to help. About 20 mins later they gave me extra strenght Tylenol, it did the trick. About 20 mins later they made me pee and I was told I could leave. I went home with ginerale and saltines, told me to drink plenty of gaterade and water and eat lots of protein and take it easy. The ride home I felt nausus but didn't get sick. Came home and dh made me eggs and pb toast but I just feel awful! I'm sticking to satines and have already had 64 oz of gaterade! Watching movies from the library and trying to relax. I'm praying I don't over stimulate- they took out 32, yes 32 eggies! I don't know yet the quality, but I'm praying they are some good eggies!

Ohh ya some slight/light spotting

Almost there

Lets see where should I start: I've been in and out of the doctors office 5 out of the last 7 days for blood work and u/s but thats all changing! HEHE. Yesterday I had 18 measurable follicles-the largest being 16.5 and my estrogen was 1947 up from sundays 1674. I got the call yesterday that today (Tuesday) might be the night to trigger and we would know more after my appt in the morning. At my appt there were 27 measurable follicles! The largest was 19 and I had a few 18s and 16 etc. When I left I was pretty sure the trigger would be tonight. My nurse called and said yes! My estrogen is 2769 and I'm ready to go. So the plan is trigger @ 10:30pm, nothing Wed and take the eggies out Thurs @ 9:30am! Yahoo after tonight I'm done with shots! So if everything goes according to plan they will put them back in on Sunday. Pray I dont overstimulate,if I do then I need to freeze the eggs and wait until my body calms down. I think I'll visit church... I'm putting myself on kinda bed/couch rest until wednesday when I return to work. Fingers crossed!!!

its in the air...

So last week I found out that 2 more people I know are preggers, So I'm convinced pregnancy is in the air; and I'll be the next one! Those keeping track thats 6 people in the month of September who told me they were pregnant.
My meds are going well, I have some bruises on my belly but I guess its not too bad,and I've noticed some little twiches around the ovaries but I can deal. My fav nurse said I'm doing great and currently a text book IVF case. That makes me super happy.
Update on u/s and blood work:
9/30 4 days of gonal f and many tiny follicles growing and my estrogen is 717-stay on same dose of meds
10/2 6 days of gonal f and 6 follicles growing and measuring around 10.5 and estrogen is 900-stay on same dose of meds. After this appt I was nervous because I thought more would be going on but my fav nurse called and told me everything is on track and slow and steady wins the race.
10/4 8 days of gonal f and 12 follicles growing-measuring from 11-15, I have no clue what my estrogen is ( a different doc called and I forgot to ask).Stay on same dose of meds.

The game plan is to back tomm 10/5 for u/s and blood and just incase I made another appt for Tues. I think I'm going to be in there all week. I told my boss today and shes 100% supportive of me coming late or having to miss some days. I think the retrieval will be this week...maybe Thurs or Friday ( that would be 12/13 days of gonal f)??hmm I guess we'll see.

On a side note- I noticed that I only like talking to one nurse aka fav nurse and when someone else calls me I pretty much dont pay attention to what they are saying and ask for my nurse. I feel bad for being a bitch to these people but the one I like has been with me since the start of everything and I really trust her. I pray she is around when the results of my pregnancy test come in :)

Lost and Found

Yesterday I was organizing all my supplies and noticed my needles for my trigger shot were missing...panic mode-I called my DH and he said he was too busy to talk to me...hmmm hello its very important. ahh. CAlled my fav nurse and she said if I cant find them I can borrow (have)some from the office. But still I'm thinking its a sign that god doesnt want me to have babies... Anyway I ended up cleaning up our computer room and guess what I found??? The needles! I'm such a loser.
The shots are ok...its getting harder to put the needles in-I think I'm thinking too much about it but they dont want to pierce the skin (took me 6 mins last night) normally only 2 mins. I have my appt tomm morning and I'm very curious to see whats going on in there... I feel fine,I dont think I'm over-stimulating again which is good but I'm not sure if they are growing...very intersted to see what tomm brings. I think nothing will be going on in there and they will up my meds. We'll see.
I just spent 2 hours searching the internet-and I wont tell anyone what for but you can guess! haha

Gonal f...

Last night I started the gonal f shot (75 units/last time was 150 units). Giving yourself 2 shots (lupron and g-f) really isnt fun, but I can deal with it. I go back for u/s and b/w on wed and I pray that the eggies are starting to grow. I'm so nervous that my body will reject the gonal f or get used to it and I'll have to start all over with a new plan. Lets pray that doesnt happen. I've been good about googling ivf things...the only thing I did was ivf due date calculator and if what I typed in is correct I'd be due July 1-3ish. It all depends on the retrieval but I have a general idea. OOo wait and I looked at crib bedding-I dont care for the sets and I really like targets mix an match section. However I havent told DH of my selections :) FOr a girl I like poke a dots and stripes and for a boy stripes and stars but my hubby might have something to say about the boys bedding. Everytime I hear a cute name I tell him and he normally hates it and we have the biggest book ever with baby names but we arent really looking at it. The one name we have agreed on is Lindsay. However I'm scared to have a girl-what if she has to go threw all this ivf stuff because I gave her PCOS? Is that possible? No clue. Boy or girl doesnt matter to me as long as s/he is born healthy. I'm rambeling...

This was a good week, my emotions are getting in check and I'm very hopeful that everything will work out...now I'm going to eat my brazil buts to promote good eggie quality!! ANd I just googled it---http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/family/142820/His---039-n--039--hers-fertility-boosting-nutrients

Fact or fiction??

Last week I visited my friend (the one preggers threw IVF) she gave me a brush that her acupuncturist gave her-focuses on a point in the forehead, she gave me brazil nuts(6 a day) and told me to eat the core of a pineapple for 3 days after my transfer. And she suggested giving acupuncture another go with a different person.

I think the brush is easy, the nuts..ok and the pineapple is yummy so not a big deal. Am I crazy to think these things will work for me? They worked for her but I understand everyone is different... If I go back to acupuncture I'll only go before and after the transfer (within the day). I havent told my DH yet because he'll look at me like I'm nuts (again) but its only $125 for the pre and post sessions. After all this time and money I pray it works because I'll end up in the looney bin if it doesnt.

Tomm is my suppression check-to make sure I'm in menopause mode...belive me I am. If everything is good then I go down on the lupron to 5cc (yahoo) and start the gonal f in 5 days. Fingers crossed :)

Stupid pill

So I hate the pill with a passion! Lol!! It's making me sleepy, cranky, pissed and fat! I just needed to share this fun info!

On another note I got an email yesterday from a happy person announcing that there will be a new member in his family- no he doesn't know what's going on with us but for some odd reason it drove me over the edge! I didn't do anything crazy like reply to the email but my poor dh heard all about it! Some times little things set me off... I guess that's life! However I have a baptism this weekend and I'm sooo not looking forward to it, and since I'm starting ny lupron that night I'll not drink! It's gonna be a long night...

I'm all over the places with my words/emotions I'm blaming the darn pill:)

"Quote"

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankrolls smaller, homes happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for."-Unknown

All systems are a go!

I finally got my friend yesterday! I went in for a baseline u/s yesterday (which means full bladder) normally they dont require one for IVF cycles but since I was just cancelled they wanted to make sure there were no large cysts. So everything looks good and I start the pill tomm! I cant wait till I start the gonal f again, thats the light at the end of the tunnel before they take the eggies out!

I heard from a girl from the book signing and we are going out to dinner on Tues, and she just found out shes pregnant(from IVF) so I'm going to pick her brain :)

I start my lupron on Sun 9/13

Cloud 5

Sooo I'm on a cloud- it's not cloud 9 but it's a start, let's say it's cloud 5 ish! I think 6 will be the retrieval,7 will be the transfer,8 will be finding out I'm preggers and 9 will be delivering a healthy baby!!

Anyway the reason for this cloud is that the cancelation fee was waved and I got 3 free gonal f pens today: that's a savings of $2600.00
they waved the fee this time but if we cancel again it's between $525-$4500 but my fingers and toes are crossed that it won't happen again!

Happy phone call!!

I got the best news last week-well almost the best news! My favorite nurse L called and told me she could give me a gonal f pen for free!!! Omg I almost peed myself!! That's a $717 savings!! Wahooo, well it turns out that she had 3 pens for me! We bought her and her hubby a gift card to the capital grill as saying thank you! So now I'm just waiting on my lovely friend to show up so we can start again!

We went away with dhs cousin and his expecting wife- it was really nice to get away an I'm really happy for them. They talked about the pregnancy but not too much, they know what's going on with us.

That's all for now, I have to call the ivf place to see if they r going to charge me a cancellation fee of $525, even though they didn't put it in writing...

One thing after another

Since my cycle was cancelled 7/27 I thought we'd start up when the bitch showed up. Wrong-just talked with the nurse and the doc wants to wait for 2 periods. And now we have to go in for a follow up from our cancelled cycle and get a new plan. I'm sooo pissed that we have to wait x2. I'm sooo scared that since I over stimulated last time they are gonna watch me like a hawk and only let me produce 1 eggie. Hmm hello I'm paying for this wonderful stuff and cant do it 1,000 times. I need alot of eggies so we can freeze them and only have to pay around $3,000 the frozen cycle. Ahhhh sooo annoying, I hope what I'm thinking is wrong but I dunno. I just need to scream really loud.

1st Anniversary

Yesterday was our 1yr wedding anniversary! It was really nice, we went to Coach Grill for dinner and the waiter heard me say anniversary and came over with cake w/a candle ( for free) soo sweet. I defrosted our wedding cake from last year and had the bakery make a fresh one just on case the old was bad. It turned out great. Tradition says paper is your gift for your 1st year so I gave my DH a childrens book "everyone poops" and new Oakleys, he gave me some books-one of which was a large and great Baby name book. It was soo sweet. Its soo big it keeps me busy for hours!hahaha

Onto IF news, I'm calling the doc today to make an appt for our follow-up and get the next steps.

Holy emotions

Last night I went to a book signing for Love and Infertility-Kristen Magnacca. It was held at one of the pharmacys that I order my meds from. I met alot of nice people and Kristen was really sweet. She even told me that she might be able to get my in for a insurance call in hour w/ resolve (for free). However, to be honest I dont think theres anything anyone can do-I've tried to be nice to them, screamed at them and begged an pleaded with them-Nothing is going to change their minds. Its weird that in that room I was the ONLY person paying out of pocket.Anyways... I exchanged emails/numbers w./a few girls (its sooo nice to talk with someone going threw the same stuff).

On the way home however I lost my shit. Just started balling on the pike.Hmmmm I think its beacause even though I talk about things with my husband an a few friends/family it was different.I let my guard down, heard words that I can relate too. It made it more real since I was at this place. When I found out my IVF was cancelled I didnt scream/cry I just went on with things. I think for now on after finding out news I need to vent or I just gonna loose it.

When I came home my DH asked if I learned anything and I told him what Kristen and the other ladies said and he said "thats all". His wonderful comment didnt help me with my crazy emotions. I went onto the computer until bed and then when we went to sleep I freaked out. I want to tell him everything thats going on inside my head but dont have the words.

Today we went to visit a friend who just had a baby on Wed. On the way there I was super nervous and I asked him if he liked seeing other peoples babies. He said I'm not jealous of them, I know its going to happen for us next time. He said he cant dwell on the cancelled cycle and needs to be positive. That made me feel alot better. I'm really happy for our friends,and they are over joyed. I held the baby and so did my hubby and we were fine. I know we are going to be fine.

Ohh yeah, Kristen gave us a headband, I dont plan on using it but I plan on taking it with me to every appt. Maybe it will bring me luck!

cycle cancelled

Yesterday I got the official word-we are shutting down this cycle. The follicles arent growing like they should be at this stage and since my estrogen is all over the place. The only thing that sucks is that we were almost done,this week would have been the ET. Everyone thought it would be best to start from scratch. We are out around $2500.00 but I guess its not too bad. Thank god I have such an amazing husband. We were told to take 4 weeks off and start again.

Stupid estrogen...again

Yesterday was great, I went to the beach with a friend and just talked (not about ivf) just things. It was just what I needed to get my mind off all this stuff. However I'm a lobster- a real lobster maybe even more red than a lobster!lol. Today was my u/s an b/w since starting back on the gonal f and the eggies grew a smidge like .5 :( So the biggest is 15 with a 14 and 10 13's etc. As we drove home we were thinking that the cycle is going to be cancelled because my body is just not listening but as always it depends on my estrogen level. Well an on call doc called @ 1pm with the results and said it dropped again. WTF. Its now 200. Keep in mind that last Tues it was 1651 and Wed it was 2620(?) and Fri it was 600. So righ then we figured he would say stop the cycle and start fresh, nope. He said take 150 of the gonal f tonight w/ 5c of lupron and come in tomm for another u/s +b/w. I told the doc I dont have that much g-f for tonight...I only have 112.5. He said take what ever is left. So now we are thinking that on call doc doesnt know what hes doing. Our reg RE says its not good for the estrogen to be all over the place. If it is then the eggies wont be growing properly. KIll me. So I had to call him back and ask if he was sure and he said yes-it might jump alot over night and we would def know tomm if we are cancelling. At this point I have prepaired myself 3 times to cancel this cycle.I cant keep going back and fourth. I think my reg doc will say to start fresh-and we are okay with this. Only time will tell..........

Some good news

My doctor called this afternoon and said my estrogen dropped. My new level is 600-its lower than they wanted but ok. Our plan is to continue with this cycle unless my estrogen goes up crazy again or the eggies stop growing. I will decrease my lupron tonight to 5 and start again on the gonal f,this time @ 75 units. I go back in on Sunday for another u/s and blood work to see where we are at. Today of the 19 growing eggies there were 2 that were 14 mm in size. The size we are looking for is 18 or more. The others are close behind. We had to cancel our weekend away but I think it will be worth it.

Is it 2pm yet...waiting

We went in today for another u/s and blood work since stopping the gonal f drug. It turns out the follicles are growing on their own! Yay! On Wed we had 5 eggies growing-today (fri)there are 19 growing. The doc said its a good sign that they are growing on their own but everthing depends on if my estrogen has dropped. I pray that it has. My doc wants to see it around 1,000-2,000 (wed it was 2621). A normal person is around 800 @ this time... I keep thinking of I go tanning then maybe I can sweat out the estrogen! HAha, I know this isnt how bodies work but hey its getting me threw the day. On the other hand I dont want to go tanning in case I hurt the eggies. The nurse has told me that I cant hurt the eggs by sun, but you never know. I also have a theory that the lab is messing up my estrogen tests, I know they probably arent but I need to blame someone. I'm waiting for the call this afternoon to tell me if we are going to continue this cycle....its going to be a long day. In case everything looks good we have made appts for Sat & Sun- which ruins our weekend plans to get away. We'll see what the blood test show. For the moment I'm bringing my phone wherever I go.

Over-stimulating...sad

So today I went in again for a u/s and blood work. Turns out the 8 eggies are staring to grow. All are 10mm and 1 is 11. I was waiting for my nurse to call me when the doctor did. If a doctor calls thats never a good sign...she said my estrogen went up another 1,000-thats right 1,000. I dropped my gonal f dose to the lowest dose last night and the shit still goes way up. We decided to stop the gonal f and up my luron dose to 10cc (instead of 5) for the next 2 nights and go in on Friday for more blood work and another u/s to see if my estrogen has dropped and the eggies are growing on there own. After the u/s we will sit down to chat. She said she wants me to know that we might be canceling the cycle. I understand they have my best interest in mind and there are alot of health risks to me but what the f****.
We have to wait till Friday and hope that my levels have dropped and the eggies are growing on there own...
Until then

Stupid blood work

My nurse just called and said they are concerned with my very high estrogen levels. They are at 1,651-a place where they should be around the time of the retrieval :( I now have to lower my gonal f dose to 37.5 units instead of 150 units and go back tomm for another u/s and blood work to see where the levels are going... Sooo not happy right now. They are afraid I'm going to over stimulate-and i'm afraid they are going to cancel the cycle and then we would have wasted time and money...

Good appt today

This morning I went in for blood work and a u/s. The woman I got today for my u/s is my favorite. She talks to me and tells me things/unlike the others. Lol! She said I have 20+ follicles on each side-thats right 40+ total :) Horray for me! I had a feeling that they were starting to grow but never thought 40 would be there. They are still too small to measure but its a start. My favorite nurse will call around 2pm with my blood results-I have no clue what they are looking for but whatever. She will let me know when to come back and what dose to do on the gonal f (go up or down). I dont know if its tooo early but I'd like to trigger on Sunday-then I'll have been on gonal f for 9days. If I trigger on Sunday then I'll they will take the eggies out on Tues and but them back in on Friday. I'm off on Tues and Fridays so this would make life easy. I have told my boss about whats going on, just in case I need to take time off. She is super supportive!!

I feel like a druggy

I feel like a drug user. I dont know how people can put needles into themselfs all the time and get pleasure out of it. Here it is 8:45am and I'm dreading 7:05pm (2 shots).Ahhhh. But I thought I'd list all my wonderful meds that are making my kitchen look like a drug store and my bank acct look yucky. Did I mention our insurance isnt paying for IVF or our meds//? However if I didnt have health insurance the state would pay for it.GOOOO FIGURE. I swear I'm not bitter!

Provera- Drug used to induce a period
Birth control pills-
Lupron- Drug used to suppress your ovaries $258
Gonal F Pen 900- Used to grow your follicles $717 each pen and I think I need a new pen this week...
Noveral-Triggers your eggies to release and 36 hours from then you do the retrieval $62
Progesterone suppositories-Helps the lining if the uterus $70

IVF procedure:$6500.00
u/s and blood work: $1500.00

It will be all worth it in the end.

A long long ass 6 weeks starts...

Forgive me if I'm all over the place with this blogging thing. I just started to blog and am trying to recall the past months to give a better idea. However I'm not sure that people will read this, so far I'm not telling others that I'm doing it. But deep down I want people to read it...its the hardest thing I've ever gone threw and I cant put it into a conversation. Weird I know-I ramble too.
Anywho, IVF is a 6 week process (it feels like 600 weeks to be honest). It starts with the birth control pill (ironic I know) on day 3 of your cycle. However if your like me and dont get your 'friend' on a monthly basis you start provera to induce one. I started my pills on 6/19, then I moved onto lupron shots (10cc) on 7/3. I was told to do the shots between 7-9pm each night, at 7:05pm every night I start getting the shot ready. In my mind if I do it the same time all the time we will have better results...what ever gets me threw the shots...haha. I give the shot in my stomach-2 inches from my belly button, I alternate sides each day but still I have bruises. At 1st it was very easy but its getting harder as the days go on. My belly is sore and ugly. After 10 days of the lupron shot I went in for a u/s and blood work to see if the meds are doing their job. It turns out they are! My nurse (who I <3) called and said everything is on track and to decrease my lupron to 5cc a day and to start the gonal f pen on 7/17. 150 units a night along with the lupron. Gee the fun of 2 shots in my belly. I can give the shots in my thigh but I think the belly is closer to the eggies so thats why I'm doing it there. I have an u/s and blood work tomm to see if the gonal f is working and if I should go up or down in my dose. I really want to see progress tomm but the nurse thinks its too soon to see big follicles (eggies) growing. We'll see.

The start of my story

I have been thinking of doing a blog for a little while now. However I have no clue where to start,what to say etc. So here goes-I'm 27 and have pcos. I have been ttc (trying to conceive) since 5/08 and have had no luck. We started seeing a fertility doc in 12/08. She put us threw many tests to rule other things out. Turns out my tubes are fine and my hubby is ok. We found out that I have plenty of eggies but they dont like to mature. They need to mature to ovulate... We set out a plan to take clomid 100mg and when the follicles are mature 18mm we would do a trigger shot of ovidrel. Well to make a long story short we maxed out clomid @ 250mg and only ovulated 1 time in 5 months. We sat down with our doc to make a new plan. It was decided to do IVF, it has the best chances and since we are paying out of pocket for everything we figured why not put our money in the best possible place.